بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Our teacher began with praising Allaah and sending salaat and salaam on the Messenger of Allaah, his family, companions and followers until the Last Day and began:
وَأَيْمُنِ الطَّلاَقِ وانتِهَارِ مُسْلِمٍ أَوْ أَهَانَهُ بِعَارِ
مِنْ سَبٍّ أَوْ تَخْوِيفِهِ لِمَنْعِ جَمِيعِهَا فِي غَيْرِ حَقٍّ شَرْعِي
And swearing to divorce; and using rough speech with a Muslim, or insulting/criticizing him or cursing or scaring him, is forbidden all of it, in other than an Islaamic right
- أَيمُن is the plural of yameen, which means the right (i.e. the right hand); here, it means the oath. It (the oath) was called a yameen because when the Arabs used to give an oath, one would hold the right hand of his partner (i.e. one would put his right hand in the hand of the one he is making this oath with). However, here the author said أيمن طلاق, so he means the oath of divorce.
- الطّلَاق means: divorce; and this [swearing to divorce] was a habit in the old days, and is so even until now; so for example, one says when wanting to invite his friend over: ‘if you don’t come then divorcing my wife is upon me!’ etc. The least in the ruling of this is that it is disliked; and in some schools of thought it is considered Haraam. And Allah ordered us to preserve our oaths, in His saying: “…And protect your oaths (i.e. do not swear much). Thus Allah make clear to you His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) that you may be grateful.” (Quran 5: 89)
One should seek to take oaths as little as possible, and should seek to avoid it as much as possible; and he should only do so when it is necessary –otherwise, making it a habit is disliked, and some consider it Haraam –especially those based upon divorce.And Allah said:(What translates to mean) “Allah will not call you to account for that which is unintentional in your oaths, but He will call you to account for that which your hearts have earned. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most-Forbearing.” (Quran 2: 225); therefore, if (for example) you tell someone to go through the door, and this person instead insists that you go first, and says: “no, wallahi you go first” –here, this is not an intentional oath, rather he was just insisting that you go first.
Allah said these verses speaking in the sequence of divorce, and He said at the end: “… And treat not the Verses (Laws) of Allah as a jest, but remember Allah’s Favours on you (i.e. Islam), and that which He has sent down to you of the Book (i.e. the Quran) and Al-Hikmah (the Prophet’s Sunnah – legal ways – Islamic jurisprudence, etc.) whereby He instructs you. And fear Allah, and know that Allah is All-Aware of everything.” (Quran 2: 231); meaning, do not play around with the laws of Allah, because talaq (divorce) is one of the laws of Allah.
And talaq in the pre-Islamic days was not limited; to the point that one would divorce his woman and leave her for as long as he wanted, and then return and take her back, and then divorce her –and so on. And in some religions, divorce is not allowed completely. Thus, Islam came to give the best solution, and it did not deny that divorce could be a solution; however, Islam limited divorce to three times –after which you can no longer take her back.
Allah’s detailing this issue (of divorce) shows its importance, and that it should be carried out only after much thought. Therefore, one should not play around with the laws of Allah by making oaths with one’s talaq. As for the ruling, there is dispute – some scholars say if one swears upon talaq and the things which he swore upon take place, then his talaq takes place even if he did it out of joking, and the intention is not looked at here due to certain ahadeeth which give that meaning.
Shaykh ibn Baaz said in his fataawa speaking about this issue: “The believer shouldn’t do it a lot; rather, it is disliked for him to do so, and he should preserve his tongue… so the believer should verify in different matters, and to be concerned with preserving the tongue from anything which shouldn’t be done –and of that is divorce. So he shouldn’t divorce except after much thought and caution; then if the advantage and benefit shows in divorcing, he then divorces a single time only; because he might regret, then take back his wife; and what is meant –that doing much swearing by divorce is dangerous, and leads to this divorce taking place, for he could swear by divorce not meaning it, but it does take place if he does what he swore not to do, or left what he said he would do. As for the case where he only wanted to threaten and scare off [his wife], such as him saying: “if you speak to so and so then you are divorced”… this issue in the strongest saying according to the scholars, does not make the divorce take place; but there is an expiation, which is the expiation of an oath.”
And divorce is not in the hands of the women, as due to her nature, she tends to be emotional more than she is rational; as she may realize at the end that she really did not want to leave her husband, and she would then want to go back to him; that is why, because of her nature, the divorce was not placed in her hands. And this is in order to protect her, so that she does not divorce and then regret it and want to go back to her husband; and so she does not end up lost with no one to take care of her. However, she can seek a khula, but this is only an asking for divorce; however, divorcing is in the hands of the man.
- انتِهَار means: to tell someone off with rough speech; as Allah said:(what translates to mean) “… say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” (Quran 17: 23)
As-Sayooti said (about the word intihaar): “It is az-zajar” (i.e. driving someone away with harsh words or angry tone etc).
So it is not permissible to use harsh or rough speech with a Muslim; either by way of insulting him, or cursing him etc.
- أَهَانَهُ means: insult; and here you can say it as ahaanahu or ihaanihi –as both are the same and give the same meaning to the sentence.
- عَارِ means: defect; and the author did not intend here to restrict the insulting to being only due to a defect, rather this is just an example he gave.
All of the mentioned things are impermissible. The Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wa salam) said about cursing: “Cursing a Muslim, is fusooq (i.e. being rebellious)”; i.e. it is one of the major sins.
The definition of a major sin in Islam is: every sin which was specified with:
- A penalty in this worldly life: such as someone accusing a chaste woman/man of committing zina; as Allah said: (what translates to mean) “And those who accuse chaste women, and produce not four witnesses, flog them with eighty stripes, and reject their testimony forever, they indeed are the Fasiqun (liars, rebellious, disobedient to Allah).” (Quran 24: 4)
- A threat of punishment in the Hereafter: such as the narration of the Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wa salam) in which he said that he saw people having their jaws sawed, and when he asked Jibreel about them, Jibreel said that they were the people who fabricate lies and they spread.
- A cursing from Allah or His Messenger (sallAllahu alayhi wa salam), or their being free from someone: such as the saying of the Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wa salam): “May Allah curse he who cursed his parents” or his saying: “Tell the people that whoever hangs a tameemah, then Muhammad is free from him.”
It is not permissible to annoy your brother, as the Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wa salam) said: “Don’t harm yourself, neither harm others.”
And Allah said: (What translates to mean) “And those who annoy believing men and women undeservedly, bear on themselves the crime of slander and plain sin.” (Quran 33: 58); and this verse is not restricted to slander –rather any type of annoyance falls under this verse.
And the Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wa salam) said: “The Muslim is the brother of the Muslim, he doesn’t oppress him.”
Any type of calling names is impermissible, as Allah said: (what translates to mean) “O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former, nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it, to insult one’s brother after having Faith [i.e. to call your Muslim brother (a faithful believer) as: “O sinner”, or “O wicked”, etc.]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed Zalimun (wrong-doers, etc.).” (Quran 49: 11)
Speaking about a Muslim, or cursing him, or defaming him and criticizing him –this is by default impermissible; as the Muslims reputation is sacred and preserved, and it is not to be abused in any way. And Allah said: (what translates to mean) “… Allah will bring a people whom He will love and they will love Him; humble towards the believers, stern towards the disbelievers…” (Quran 5: 54); thus, your duty towards your Muslim brother is that you love him for the sake of Allah and because of his eeman and worshipping of Allah; and love is one of the conditions of ‘Laa ilaaha illah Allah’, and one does not fully achieve it unless he loves he who says it with him.
Allah loves the believers; therefore, whoever doesn’t do so as well, is contradicting what Allah loves. Rather, one must love what Allah loves and hate what Allah hates; and if one doesn’t, then there is a problem with his eeman.
And Allah said: (what translates to mean) “And He has united their (i.e. believers’) hearts. If you had spent all that is in the earth, you could not have united their hearts, but Allah has united them…” (Quran 8: 63) And He said: “And hold fast, all of you together, to the Rope of Allah (i.e. this Quran), and be not divided among yourselves, and remember Allah’s Favour on you, for you were enemies one to another but He joined your hearts together, so that, by His Grace, you became brethren (in Islamic Faith), and you were on the brink of a pit of Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus Allah makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.,) clear to you, that you may be guided.” (Quran 3: 103)
- أَوْ تَخْوِيفِهِ means: or scaring him; such as threatening him, or pointing a weapon at him even as a joke etc.
- لِمَنْعِ means: is forbidden.
- جَمِيعِهَا means: all of it.
- فِي غَيْرِ حَقٍّ شَرْعِي means: in other than a given Islaamic right.
Abu Hurayrah (radhiAllahu anhu) reported that Allah’s Messenger (sallAllahu alayhi wa salam) said: “Do you know who is poor?” they (the Companions) said: “A poor man amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor wealth.” He (sallAllahu alayhi wa salam) said: “the poor of my Ummah would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrection with prayers and fasts and Zakat but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others and unlawfully consumed the wealth of others and shed the blood of others and beat others, and his virtues would be credited to the account of one (who suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account, then his sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the hell-Fire.” (Muslim)
And he (sallAllahu alayhi wa salam) said: “Of the most sever usury, is detracting from the Muslims reputation without a given right.” (Sahih Jaami’)
And he (sallAllahu alayhi wa salam) said: “The worst usury is slandering the reputations.” (Sahih Jaami’)
And he (sallAllahu alayhi wa salam) said: “Usury is seventy doors; the lowest of those doors is the man fornicating with his mother, and verily the worst of those doors is extending in detracting from the Muslims reputation.” (Authenticated by Al-Albaanee)
الحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله
Transcribed by: Bint Abdul Hadi
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